Well yesterday was a month since my 39th birthday. I started out as I usually do, hitting the ground running. Then as usual life creeped in and started taking over. Painful knees, a grumbling screaming for treats stomach, lack of time and planning all creeped in and sabotaged me just like that! Well after a week or two of that, I said to myself, "Hey wake up, what about your goals and your dreams!?!" So August 1, I started over again. I had gotten some money on my birthday and it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to spend it on. Then I found this little gem of a program called, "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst. It is exactly what I needed. It puts God at the center of this food and weight issue. Which I must say I have been trying to do all year. At the beginning of the year I had started attending a support group for overeaters using the 12 steps. It was helpful, but I still felt stuck. As I read through this book, the knowledge of the scriptures and God's words concerning food and our health is coming alive in me. Now when I make a choice it has more to do with God and taking care of this gift of a body I have been given. I am looking at this more of a spiritual journey instead of a physical journey. In fact, my given name has given me a gift into this weakness of mine. Amy Beth, it means Beloved House. So whether it looks like it or not, God considers me a beloved house. When I think of God's house, I think of the Temples. If I want him to dwell in me I need to take care of this house that I have been given. If I want to be able to better access him spiritually , I need to be clear, clean and pure physically.
So what have I been doing...The same things I have always done. I am still doing my Beachbody workouts. I am still doing my best to eat clean and pure. The only difference in the process is my desire and want to. This is something that has always caused me to lose momentum is my will power and my want to. Well as God has all power. He can help me do this. If I am doing it for God to become closer to Him my drive and determination are more solidified. My want to used to be for my kids, for me. But I have no problem letting myself down. And my kids, they really love me just the way I am. But to let God down. That is big stuff. I want Him in my life and I want His power and grace and spirit to be with me and the only way to truly do that is to give myself to Him physically. So when I confront that cake or whatever it is, am I choosing God or food? I choose God.
